(Not so) Stuck in the Middle With you
by ADWarrick
Summary: When Ron and Harry finally come out, and tell the world they've been fucking on the DL (and are quite possibly in love), Hermione and Ginny decide to get them back by... you guessed it... pretending to date. If you want bad fake dating tropes, brunch dates, and ensuing hilarity, plus what I would call a fairly well written office sex scene (IN PROGRESS)


Hermione/ Ginny slashfic get wrecked patriarchy

Hermione sat at her desk in her office at the ministry, her pen scribbling across parchment. Today was awful. Everything that had gone wrong could go wrong. Except maybe for Voldemort returning from the goddamn dead. A band of giants had come too close to a city. There were tons of memory charms to be done, meetings to organize, muggles to convince of their faulty sightings. Her normally tight bun was coming undone again, and the frizzy brown hair that usually at least acted somewhat manageable was running away from her, just like everything else. She finished what she was writing, leaned back in her chair, and sighed loudly, closing her eyes. She was on the edge of a half sleep when a knock at the door startled her.  
"Enter." She said. Her secretary peeped open the door  
"Ginny is er... here to see you." Hermione sat up. Ginny. Ginny. Oh God. Fuck.

 _Six months ago._

"What do you mean you and Ron are _in love_?!" Yelled Ginny across the dinner table at Harry.  
"Its been going on for awhile" said Harry quietly, eyes downcast. " I just didn't have the heart to tell you. He's you're brother and I ... "

"How long is _a while_ ," Ginny said

" A couple erm… years. " Harry mumbled

" _Years?_ " Ginny yelled. It echoed around their apartment. She paced the kitchen. Everything. Everything she built with him. All the time she spent. Waiting. Waiting for _him_. She knew he didn't really like pleasuring her all that much but _this_?  
"So what are you like fucking him or something?"  
"Well, maybe, yeah. I didn't want you to be this angry"  
"How the fuck else am I supposed to react Harry. How? You're fucking my goddamn brother. Oh no… excuse me, you're _in love_ " She paused. Her voice felt hoarse. Her face was red as her hair. It was quiet for some time. Harry twiddled his thumbs. "I wont pretend I didn't see it coming, but did you have to wait until now? When we live together? When I felt safe? With us? With you?" Ginny said. Harry was silent.  
"Get out." Ginny said. And Harry left.

***

 _Three months before  
_  
"I have an idea." Slurred Ginny. She and Hermione sat at the bar at the leaky cauldron together, wallowing. It was late, and last call was not far off. Tom seemed worn of his customers, and Hermione and Ginny, while usually the model patrons, were loud tonight, boisterous in their extra drink and bad attempts to forget their sadness.  
"What's that?" Hermione said, half aware.  
"We should pretend. To be girlfriends. To go out you know. T' piss the fuckers off. Give them a taste of their own damn *hic* medicine. "  
"Really?" Said Hermione. "Like really?"  
"Dude. Yes. Bugger them and their stupid little art deco apartment in Diagon alley, and their kissing and making goo goo eyes at each other. Fuck. It makes me want to puke." She hiccupped again, as if for emphasis.  
"Fuck. You're right. That's brilliant." They were both silent for a second, before they burst out laughing. "You're for sure this is a good idea though?" Hermione continued, still out of breath.  
"Yesh" slurred Ginny. Her eyelids drooped. "Plus. If it came too it, I don't think I'd mind kissing you." Ginny said sleepily, smiling. Hermione's eyebrows shot up. "What? You think I wouldn't do it?" Said Ginny, perking up a little, challenging Hermione to look her in the eye. Hermione could imagine it. It would be softer maybe. Not so stubbly as kissing a boy. But Ginny was so full of fire. It would be... different. Passionate in ways Ron never would have been. She closed her eyes, relishing the daydream. She leaned towards Ginny a bit, and when she opened her eyes, Ginny was leaning towards her too. Hermione's gut wrenched, everything in her became tense as she leaned further off her bar stool. And then, Ginny's head collapsed into her shoulder. She was gone. Not quite asleep, but gone.  
"Take me home." She mumbled into Hermione's robes.  
Hermione smiled.  
"Tonight we stay here. I don't want to aparate and hurt you or myself." She called for Tom  
"An extra room I think? Just for the night."  
"Sure." He mumbled "but only for you." He helped Hermione get Ginny up the stairs slowly. They stumbled along the way, but finally, Tom opened the door to a clean room. Ginny wobbled to the bed and collapsed. The sheets on the bed were crisp and snow fell quietly outside. Hermione pulled off Ginny's shoes and her robe, and tucked her under the quilt delicately. A fire crackled in the grate warmly. For some time, Hermione gazed out the window and watched the snowflakes float into the London streets, blanketing everything in white. _Her freckles are like snowflakes_ Hermione thought _._ She took her own shoes off and snuggled under the covers. She did not touch her, but she could feel Ginny's body heat. Again she imagined what it would feel like. Ginny's body would be nothing like Ron's or even Viktor's. All those curves, and thighs from quidditch, and _breasts._ Hermione wouldn't pretend she hadn't thought about it be fore but she always wondered if someone else's would feel different than her own. Ginny turned on her side, making a small noise in her slumber.

"I wouldn't mind kissing you either" she whispered in Ginny's ear, knowing that she would not hear. She felt somewhat satisfied, if not a little too warm in certain places. But the taste of fire whiskey still lingered on her mouth, and before long, she too was asleep.

 _Two Months Before_

"Are we really going to do this?" Hermione said

" Yes. Okay. Yes. Just imagine the stupid look on their smug little faces when we show up to 'brunch' holding hands. Just think." Ginny said. Hermione nodded. She looked determined. Her eyebrows set together, as if she was solving another problem at work. Ginny liked that face. It was endearing.

"Fine. Lets go. And I'm getting eggs benedict Ginny. Whether I pay or not."

"I'll make them pick up the check this time," replied Ginny. They aparated together.

They arrived exactly where they planned, in front Madam Pudifoots teashop, at 11:55. Just enough time to rub their fake relationship in the faces of their ex- boyfriends.

"Ooh, look, here they come!" said Hermione.

"Hold my hand! Quick!" Ginny said.

"Ginny, I'm already holding it. For fucks sake." Hermione said with a laugh

"Sorry," Ginny mumbled through her scarf. "Thick mittens" She was glad Hermione couldn't see her blush. Harry and Ron reached them before long. Harry had cut his hair so it was short on the sides, and Ron had let his beard grow. They looked like a proper couple, really, and the fire in Ginny's stomach only grew hotter. The four of them went inside, shedding their heavy coats and robes, and hanging them by the door. They scooted into a booth and mad idle chitchat for a while until tea arrived.

"We have an announcement," said Ginny.

"Ginny and I are dating," said Hermione, maybe a little too excited. For a full second it was quiet, then Ron almost choked on his tea. Harry started laughing. Ron struggled to regain breathing, tears streaming from his eyes. Harry was still laughing

"Then prove it!" Harry said between laughs, tears falling down his own face now too. "Kiss her!" Ron pounded his chest, had a few more hacks, and went silent. They waited for Harry to regain control. "I mean it," said Harry "I want proof." Ginny looked at Hermione. Hermione looked at Ginny. Ginny squeezed Hermione's hand. They both looked at Harry for a minute. "Seriously? You would fake a relationship…" but Ginny didn't care about the rest of what Harry was saying. She looked back at Hermione. Hermione had that look on her face again. The one where her eyebrows knit together. And she was leaning in. Everything went quiet. No longer did Ginny hear Ron's fidgeting, or the tinkling of teacups, or muffled voices from other tables. Just her heart, pounding in her ears like a drum. She closed her eyes, and felt another pair of lips on hers. It was different. _So different_. _So soft._ For a second they both sat, lips pressed together. Hermione withdrew slightly, tentative. Without second thought, Ginny kissed her again, pulling her in, their mouths battling almost. It felt _good_. Hermione tasted like spearmint, and Ginny could feel Hermione's cold hands running under her sweater at her lower back, pulling her closer.

"Merlin's saggy left nut, you can come up for air you know," said Ron. Harry's mouth was open, gaping. His glasses were a bit askew. The girls stopped. Hermione brushed herself off. Ginny was colored a deep red again.

"Fuck you, Harry." She said. She got up and walked out into the cold. Hermione was shocked for a second, but was soon to follow. She heard Harry yell as she left.

"Wait! Are you guys for real!" his voice faded behind her

 _A few minutes later_

"Well, that didn't go as planned," she said, as she jogged up to Ginny in the cold. "And here's your coat. You left it." Ginny shrugged it on. There were tears on her face.

"I just… I just thought. It would feel good. To get back at him. And it didn't," she cried.

"I know." Said Hermione. "Let's just go to the three broomsticks and get some butterbeer. You'll feel better." They traipsed through the down the icy path together, until they reached the pub.

 _One month before_

A memo arrived at Hermione's office, stamped with the Holyhead Harpey seal.

" _Tea tomorrow? I'll come around seven._

 _-Ginny"_

Hermione smiled. It had been a little while. Quidditch season was getting into full flow, and Ginny was away at practice most of the time. Hermione scribbled a yes on the back of the note and flicked her wand, sending it away.

 _The next day_

Ginny sat at the kitchen table at Hermione's apartment. It wasn't far from the visitor entrance to the ministry, and very sleek, although somewhat empty. The city sounds seemed to echo around it now that Hermione lived alone. Ginny was silent. She sipped her tea exhaustedly, and Hermione noticed a leftover mud splatter on the side of her neck. It must have rained today. After awhile Ginny set down her mug.

"I have something I need to tell you." Ginny said. Hermione's eyes widened. "I can't stop thinking about that kiss." She glanced down. "I… you…" Hermione waited, her head tilted. Ginny let out a loud breath. "I want to do it again." Hermione blinked at her, surprised.

"What?" Hermione said, "I thought it was… it was for them."

"Maybe it was then." Said Ginny "But you were… I felt something I never felt with Harry."

"What's that?" said Hermione

"Safe," said Ginny. Ginny got up and crossed the table. She put her hands on the top of Hermione's chair. "Please" Ginny whispered, "let me." Gooseflesh jumped onto Hermione's skin. She looked up. They were face to face. For a beat, their breath crossed, and then for the second time, their lips met. It was slow this time. Their tongues explored each other. It felt deliberate. Ginny straddled Hermione, her hands now soft on Hermione's cheeks, pulling her face in. Hermione let her own hands wander under Ginny's sweater, to her stomach. She could feel hard, toned muscle there, moving with Ginny's breathing. They paused for a second.

"Bedroom?" asked Hermione. Ginny got up and offered a hand to Hermione.

"If you're sure," said Ginny

"For tonight, I am" replied Hermione.

"For tonight," said Ginny. Hermione took Ginny's hand and together they made their way to the bedroom. As soon as they entered, Hermione kissed Ginny fiercely, and pushed her back slowly towards the bed. Her hands wandered over the back of Ginny's pants, feeling her ass, tight and well shaped from quidditch practice. They fell on the bed together, this time Hermione straddling Ginny. Hermione kissed Ginny's neck gently, and Ginny let out almost a whisper of a moan, enjoying every second of the sensation. Ginny ran her hands under Hermione's white blouse, tracing the softness of her body, feeling the curves of her breasts over her bra. Hermione sat back and began to unbutton her shirt.

"Let me," said Ginny, wanting to take her time. She fumbled with the buttons at first, still nervous, but by the time the shirt had been discarded, she had regained some semblance of confidence. She reached behind Hermione's back and unclasped the unadorned beige bra she had been wearing. For a second, Ginny hesitated, and admired the woman before her. Hermione's skin was beautifully smooth, a wonderful chestnut color that seemed to radiate in the cloudy white light coming from the window. Ginny teased Hermione's nipples with her fingers, flicking them as she watched Hermione grind back and forth lightly on Ginny's lap. Ginny dipped her head, and began to use her mouth. The nipple felt hard in her mouth, and she circled it with her tongue, eliciting a moan from Hermione. Ginny tugged a little bit, and felt Hermione grind hard against her. Her core radiated heat. Slowly, Ginny switched, and began to play with the other breast. Every noise Hermione made went straight to the heat building between her legs. Ginny pulled Hermione's hips to her, rubbing her thumbs along the v of Hermione's hips. Hermione's fingers dug into Ginny's back and Ginny let out a muffled gasp. For a second, they broke apart, and Ginny lay back.

"May I?" Hermione asked, tugging at the pair of blue jeans Ginny had managed to pull on after quidditch practice today.

"God yes, " Ginny replied.

"I'll go slow," Hermione said. She unzipped the blue jeans, and pulled them off, revealing the t-shirt fabric thong Ginny wore. A little shock of dark red pubic hair stuck out from the sides, and she shifted, obviously self-conscious.

"You are beautiful," said Hermione, as she pulled Ginny's sweater over her head, revealing her freckled breasts. Everything about Ginny was freckled, especially her shoulders. Hermione ran her hands down Ginny's arm, taking her own turn absorbing her new lover's body. She traced Ginny's hips with her fingers, letting them dip between her muscled thighs for a second, feeling moisture already there. Hermione kissed Ginny again, softly but without holding back. Slowly, she circled her index finger around Ginny center, testing, and Ginny shivered, a gasp escaping her lips yet again. Hermione pushed the string of Ginny's thong aside, and dipped the same finger between Ginny's folds. She went in a little further and then drew out slightly to circle Ginny's clit, again testing. A full moan escaped Ginny mouth, and she thrust against Hermione's finger, wanting more. Hermione dipped in again, this time faster, and began to create a rhythm. Before long, Hermione began to use two fingers, drawing in and out of Ginny slowly. Every few strokes, she withdrew to again rub Ginny's clit. The gasps above Hermione grew louder, but Hermione was far from finished. She took her hand away, and waited for Ginny to look her in the eyes. She licked her fingers slowly, tasting Ginny on them, and knelt on the ground off the edge of the bed between Ginny's legs. She pulled Ginny toward her and took off Ginny' thong. With the first swipe of the flat of Hermione's tongue along Ginny's center, Ginny began to come undone. Hermione was _good_. At first, she used light pressure, letting Ginny get used to the feeling, and then circled and licked until she found the nub of Ginny's clit. Hermione pressed her tongue against it, moving it slightly. At last almost satisfied, Hermione began to use her hands again, her tongue still vibrating on Ginny's clit. With one hand she reached up, plunging a finger into Ginny's wetness, running it in and out quickly. With the other hand she unzipped her own pants, so excited by her own work that she felt the need to begin to pleasure herself. With the loudest moan yet, Hermione felt Ginny contract around fingers, pressing Hermione further into her as she orgasmed. Hermione stroked her through, and watched Ginny's back arch off the bed as she felt the aftershocks. Her own fingers still lazily circling her own clit lazily. Hermione rose and removed the slacks she had worn to work that day. She sat next to Ginny on the bed. Ginny was still breathing heavy, her eyes closed in pleasure. For a minute it was quiet, and then Ginny sat up.

"That was amazing." Ginny said, turning towards Hermione. They kissed again, and Ginny could just barely taste herself on Hermione's tongue. They took their time, Ginny weaving her fingers through Hermione's thick curls.

"I believe I owe you one" Ginny said when their mouths broke apart. Hermione still wore the higher waisted white panties she had put on without thought before she went to work that day. Ginny glanced at them and laughed

"Those are real cute," she said.

"Hey, it's not like I was expecting anything to happen today," Hermione replied. She giggled. "You didn't exactly tell me." Hermione was glad Ginny couldn't see her blush as blood rushed to her cheeks. Hermione leaned in, kissing Ginny lightly again

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"Who in the goddamned fuck," said Ginny. Hermione picked up her slacks and her blouse, put them on, and ran quickly to the door.

"What?!" she said as she opened it. Outside she found Ron, flowers in his hands, and a shocked look on his face.

"I…" He stuttered. Hermione had forgotten to put her bra back on, and her nipples poked through the blouse she had hurriedly buttoned. "I heard Ginny was coming by tonight, I thought I could talk to you? Harry was awful the other day, and I wanted to say I'm sorry. To you both."

"Oh," said Hermione, her frustration dying down. "Well, It's not the best time, but you can come in and have tea if you want."

"I'm sorry if I interrupted something," said Ron, his face growing pinker by the second. Hermione stood aside and Ron walked through the door. Hermione filled the kettle with fresh water and put it on the stove.

"Where's Ginny?" asked Ron, some of the pink gone from his face.

"I'll get her in a second" replied Hermione. Ron looked down at the table. Hermione went back into the bedroom. Ginny lay curled up under the sheets. Hermione sat next to her and ran her fingers through Ginny's hair.

"Mmm… who was it Hermione?" Ginny mumbled.

"Ron. He's having some tea. Brought flowers. Do you want to come see him?" Ginny sat up.

"I guess. He's been weird lately. Let me put some clothes on." Hermione smiled.

"Sure," She left Ginny to dress in peace. Hermione and Ron sat at the kitchen table awkwardly until the kettle boiled. Ginny emerged from the bedroom dressed as Hermione poured the cream into the cups of tea and set them on the table. For a minute they all sipped in silence, the flowers Ron brought sitting limply in a case between them all. Ginny spoke first.

"What is it Ron. You wouldn't come over here if it wasn't something important."

"I had to know. If you guys were being serious the other day. I'm prepared to be supportive. It was just a shock, and I… I didn't want it to end up all tangled. Where you never talk to Harry or me again. The hardest part of all of this is losing you," he glanced at Hermione "you… guys." Ginny glanced at Hermione, clearly asking her to speak.

"Well, we're not sure Ron. About each other. Just… know this. You and Harry hurt us both, and it takes time to earn trust back. When we're ready, we'll talk to you about it. Not the other way around." Ron focused his gaze on the table again.

"Okay."

For a while they chatted about normal things. Life at the burrow, politics at the ministry, and the old peace between them seemed to have been found. Ron left late, with assurances from both Ginny and Hermione would see him soon. Hermione sighed as she watched him out the window. He stood under a streetlamp and checked for muggles before aparating away, surely returning to Harry. Ginny stood behind her, and wrapped her arms around Hermione's waist. Ginny kissed Hermione's neck, and spoke softly.

"Do you want to go back to bed?"

"Yes. But after tonight. I need you to give me some time. To think. I don't want to rush, and this feels like… like a dream. A really good dream, but a dream. And I want some time to think about it like it's reality before we jump back in."

"Okay," said Ginny. "I promise. But you have to promise me that when you know for real how you feel, you will tell me. Good or bad."

" I promise," replied Hermione.


End file.
